Courage and confidence are two of the key ingredients of epic lives and grand adventures.

What would you do if you had more courage and confidence?

I’d live more, travel more, have more adventures, explore more, try more new things, love more, make more art, shine brighter, offer more to the world, show up and serve more, dare more, dance more, write more, laugh more, be more of myself. I’d care less what other people thought, I’d care less about ‘failure’, I’d care less about getting it wrong.

But where do courage and confidence come from? ‘Working on being more confident’ is uncomfortable and annoying and often just shows us all the places and ways we’re not confident. Trying to have more courage often means we’re shoving ourselves out of our comfort zones and can end up in feeling shut down and checked out and numb as a way to manage the overwhelm of pushing too hard.

Trying to be more confident and trying to have more courage are solutions to the wrong problem.

Courage and confidence aren’t results in and of themselves. Courage and confidence are side effects.

They’re the side effects of deep self trust.

The more I develop trust in myself, the easier it is to say what I want to say.

The easier it is to move 2000km to a new town where I don’t know anyone.

The easier it is to start conversations with strangers.

The easier it is to create new things.

The easier it is to step outside my comfort zone.

The easier it is to say ‘yes’ and mean it.

The easier it is to show up and LIVE, instead of just existing in the shadows and plodding along in the same old routine.

And self trust is something much simpler to focus on (though it does take time, and patience, and kindness).

How do we learn to trust ourselves?

To know that whatever happens, we’re going to be okay?

To know that whatever happens, we’ll handle it?

To trust ourselves to make the right choices?

To trust that we can step into the unknown and fully show up for the adventures we’re longing to embark on?

It starts with listening. It starts with learning to attune to the signs and signals our bodies and nervous systems are sending us all the time, that we’ve been taught to ignore and override. When we can hear what our bodies are saying, and we learn to listen to what they need, moment to moment, and we start to give ourselves these things – magic happens.

Learning that feeling tired and irritable means that right now we need connection with another human.

Learning that having trouble focusing means we need a break and a walk outside, not more caffeine and to push on through.

Learning that feeling anxious means we need to slow down, or to take a breath, or to ask for help.

Learning not to ignore the signals that our bodies give us – I’m tired. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. I need to go to the bathroom. And honouring these things instead of putting ourselves off until we’ve cleared our inbox.

It’s the consistent practice of turning towards ourselves and meeting our own needs with care and attention that begins to build a solid, bone deep, unshakable self trust. Which leads to courage and confidence showing up effortlessly – no pushing, no trying, no shoving ourselves outside our comfort zones. Just a natural, effortless ease that radiates out from the core of who we are.

This is something I work with my 1:1 clients on, so they can show up for their grand adventures in a whole new way. If you’re curious to find out how this might work for you, book a call with me and let’s explore it together. No time like the present 🙂 Sign up here:

https://ellenmay.as.me/free-call

What would you do if you had more courage and confidence?

❤