Is it silly, to grieve for a cup of coffee?

On Thursday, we’re gathering to tend to small grief, and I keep thinking about how, every day, I grieve that my morning coffee is finished. Sometimes before I finish it.

It makes me laugh when I share that, because isn’t it ridiculous? To grieve for a cup of coffee? There’s more coffee tomorrow. It’s such a small thing. Surely it shouldn’t be something to grieve? Surely I should save my grief for bigger things, for climate change, for death, for sudden, painful endings? Surely?

Really, grieving the end of my morning coffee is perfect - it’s perfect because everything ends, specially cups of coffee, and it’s a strange idea that some grief is more valid than other grief, that there’s things that are acceptable to grieve for and things that are not, it's a strange idea that grief is for special occasions and is not our constant companion, that it's not a very human thing to feel, that it should be avoided if possible.

We have forgotten how to feel it. We have grown afraid.

That soft sadness that my coffee is done for another day is quietly beautiful, and taking a moment to feel it and acknowledge it has started to become almost as important as the coffee itself.

Our gathering on Thursday is an invitation to turn towards these small sadnesses and disappointments, and to take even a small moment to acknowledge them like they matter.

For the empty cup of coffee, for the flower that’s fallen on the pavement and been crushed by the wheel of a bike, for calling a friend when we needed someone to talk to and they didn’t pick up, for a piece of clothing we loved having a hole worn in it, for asking someone for something and they said no - instead of turning to the next thing and carrying on, pause for a moment and feel that small, soft grief.

And notice what happens in your life when you start acknowledging that the small grief matters. That the things you care about matter. That you matter.

It’s a soft sweet practice, and I hope you’ll join me on Thursday* at Gathering for Grief.

*Wednesday evening for US folk :)