Today is day one of having a space to offer in person sessions to clients, and I’m reflecting on the day (and if you’re in Cairns and want to come and play, or know someone who does, send me a message! First session is free 🙂 ).

Part of me thinks: I have an in person space now. No big deal. I’m ready to get on with the next thing now.

Part of me thinks: I have an in person space now. It IS a big deal, and it will take some time to digest this before I’m ready to move on to the next thing.

Both of these things are true. 

And it’s important to recognise that both are true, and tend to both.

Sometimes it’s hard to hold the both-ness of life. That something can be simultaneously a big deal and no big deal. Or simultaneously overwhelming and pretty okay. Or simultaneously hilarious and horrible. Or whatever.

It’s hard because often we tend to expect to feel just one way about whatever we’re experiencing. We don’t recognise that it’s common and completely okay to feel lots of different ways at the same time, and that all of the things we’re feeling are valid and deserve some space and time.

And so we get confused and doubt ourselves, or judge ourselves for feeling like something is a big deal when part of us knows that it isn’t, or we pick the one that most closely aligns with how we think we should feel, and ignore the rest.

If I’d done that today – picked ‘it’s no big deal’ and ignored the part of me that feels like it is a big deal and needs more time to digest this, my day would have been a struggle.

 I would have put more pressure on myself to ‘be productive’ and expected myself to be super organised and on top of things and gotten irritated when that didn’t happen.

I would have judged myself for taking longer to do things than usual.

I would have gotten super frustrated at forgetting to bring my phone cable out of the car, and then going to the shops to buy one to keep in the space, and then getting the wrong one and having to go back to the shops to exchange it.

I wouldn’t have given myself the time to settle in. I wouldn’t have recognised my nervous system’s need for time to arrive in this new circumstance, its need to orient itself to the space – what’s it like to be here? How does it feel? Who am I, when I am here? What do I need, in order to feel comfortable and at home here?

Because I was able to hold a space for ‘big deal’ and ‘no big deal’ to be true, there was ease and spaciousness in my day and I could be okay with not getting heaps done, with taking longer to do things, with forgetting things and making mistakes.

I slowed down to the pace of the part of myself who needed time, and for the part that was ready to get on with things – I spent some time organising the rest of my week so I have a clear sense of what needs doing and when for when the part that needs time is ready to move on.

And I’m ending my day feeling cared for, and ready for tomorrow.

So permission for you to do the same – when you’re feeling all the feels about whatever’s happening in your life right now, here’s an invitation to take a moment to listen to all the voices, and acknowledge them all, and tend to them with kindness. It makes all the difference.

And if you want help with this – you know where to find me. If you’re in Cairns, come see me in person! If you’re not in Cairns, let’s hang out on Zoom 🙂 Send me a message or book a call. First session is free <3