I used to be really bad at slowing down. Insomnia? Sick? Broken leg? Two broken legs? Didn’t matter.
I’d drink all the coffee and power on through all the things I thought I needed to do. At one point in my life I was studying full time and working part time and exercising six days a week and maintaining a social life and it felt satisfying to be keeping so many plates spinning all at the same time. Another plate? Hand it over, I can probably fit that under my arm…
Keeping busy was a coping strategy to avoid what would happen if I stopped doing all the things for a minute. I might have to feel my feelings. I might have to face my depression. I didn’t know how to do those things, and the thought of them was terrifying. So I kept finding more spare minutes in my days to squeeze a few more commitments into.
I said yes to everything. The only time I stopped was when I burnt out and got sick, and as soon as I was well enough, off I’d go again.
Lucky for me, I learned how to say no. I learned how to slow down. I learned how to feel uncomfortable feelings and I did face my depression.
Lately insomnia has been kicking my ass, and as a result I’ve been taking advanced classes in slowing down and saying no to things. Letting things be simple. Letting things be easy. Letting things be enough. Letting MYSELF be enough.
Last night was a rough night so today I’ve been giving myself permission to bail on everything that feels like too much, and it feels SO GOOD. Tomorrow, old me would have insisted I be up at 5 to go to the market and exercise before a full day of zoom calls and clients. Now me is giving myself permission to let go of some of the things so I can have a good rest tonight and an easeful morning tomorrow.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this – musing onto the page.
Maybe I want to show myself I can be exhausted and still show up and write something, because I’m really enjoying writing.
Maybe I want to give you permission to slow down and say no if you need to.
Maybe I want to be a poster child for spaciousness and ease and letting life be simple.
Maybe I want to inspire you to be kind to yourself when you need it.
Maybe it’s all of these things.
Sometimes it’s not easy to slow down and say no. If you’d like some support in figuring out how then let’s talk 🙂 You can book a free call here and we can explore it together. No pressure, just a conversation with kindness to support you on the next step of your life journey.
Here’s to spaciousness, ease, and a good night’s sleep…