Sometimes, ‘what?’ is better than ‘why?’.

When you're feeling out of sorts, anxious or irritated by everything, up to and including someone standing on your shadow - it's easy to get stuck in a loop of 'why?' trying to figure out the underlying cause.

Why am I feeling breathless like my chest is squirming with uncomfortable energy?

Did I get out of the wrong side of bed? I thought I slept okay, but maybe I didn't. Did I forget to do something? I don't think I did, but this niggle, it won't go away… could it be an appointment? Someone's birthday? PMS? WHYYYYY???

Interestingly, sometimes what we think is the cause isn't actually the cause - yesterday, I thought I was worried about some bills I had to pay, but when I sorted that out, the anxiety was still there. And then it got worse, because now I was anxious about not being able to figure out why I was anxious, and the loop got even more loopy.

"Why?" can feel like a good question. You're being self reflective. You're taking responsibility for how you're feeling, trying to figure it out, understand it. And sometimes this is useful… until it isn't, when you keep spinning in the feeling.

When that happens, "what" can be a better question.

What could you do, that would help you feel a bit better? What do you need, that would help you feel more like how you'd like to feel?

"Why?" keeps you focussed on the problem, digging through the past, analysing every movement to figure out the present.

"What" has you facing out of the problem, looking to a different future.

It seems deceptively simple, but sometimes this reorientation from a past-focus to a future-focus opens your awareness to solutions that you couldn't see when you were spinning.

Give it a try next time you feel stuck in a loop…