When I want something, it’s usually not about the thing I think I want.
It’s deeper than that. When I dig into the ‘why’ it’s usually about how I want to feel.
And often when I dig into the ‘why’, there are common themes – feelings I am searching for in the desires I have.
Take my latest big adventure, moving to the tropics – there were lots of reasonable reasons:
- I hate the cold, and even Brisbane winter is too cold for me.
- Where I was living was ‘fine’, but I wanted to feel better than fine.
- I was feeling stuck and stagnant and wanted a change.
- I was curious about why everything kept making it easy to get to the place I’m living now (for years – every time I said I was going here, EVERYTHING lined up to make it smooth and easy to get here).
- And so on…
But if I dig behind all these reasonable reasons, I come to one common theme. Looking at some of the language I used – stuck, stagnant, wanting change, curious, wanting to feel better than fine… underlying all of these things is a desire for freedom.
‘Freedom’ is a core desire of mine – if I feel free, then I feel at ease, relaxed, content, I am more creative, happier – I feel like myself.
When I don’t feel free, I feel tense, frustrated, trapped, irritable, shut down, small, I’m not tapped into my own creativity. I feel out of sorts and not myself.
When I look at my life, this core desire for freedom shows up in the way I choose to live – I work largely online, so I can be anywhere. I’ve whittled down my ‘stuff’ (still a bit to go) so I’m not too weighed down by things. I am very attached to my car (this symbolises freedom to me). Many of my closest friendships are with people who don’t live close to me – we stay in touch online so again, I can be anywhere and still feel connected. My Facebook group is called ‘the Grand Adventure’… 😉
It’s fun to think about – what are some of the things you want, and what might lie underneath those surface desires? If this is the first time you’ve considered this, it might take a little time and digging to figure out what the core desire is for you – the thing that makes your soul sing ‘yes’ when you hear it.
It’s worth contemplating – if you know what your soul wants, you can start to find ways to bring more of that into your life instead of getting sidetracked with the surface ‘wants’ that are strangely unsatisfying and don’t really make you feel any better when you get them.
Want some support figuring it out? This is part of what I do with my clients 🙂 Let’s have a chat and I can help you figure out your core desires and we can look at ways to bring more of what lights you up into your life.
Send me a message or book a call and let’s find a time to talk.