The stories our bodies tell.
Have you ever tried to read the story of your own life? Our life stories are written in our bodies - the tension we carry, our smile lines, our gestures and the ways that we move.
It’s a different kind of language than the one we’re used to hearing. It speaks in sensations - in tightness and ease, in tingles of energy, in freezy feeling states, in warmth. As we become more and more fluent, deeper and deeper subtleties arise. It’s endlessly fascinating! At least, it is to me - I love what happens when we learn to attune to ourselves so deeply.
What happens when we learn that language?
It’s like finding the key to a magic box that contains the secrets to deep feelings of wellbeing, aliveness and resilience.
Here’s a few of the things that can happen, and to me they all feel deeply kind:
Feelings of being ‘not good enough’ drop away, and in their place come a knowing that ‘I’m okay and what I’m doing is enough’.
We’re clearer on what we need and want, and we’re more able to let ourselves have those things. Simple things like ‘I’m thirsty and I want a glass of water” that we perhaps wouldn’t have noticed or would have put off until it was more convenient, and more subtle things like ‘I want to feel other’s approval, so maybe I’ll play with asking close friends what they like about me’.
We have better boundaries. When we’re listening to the story our body is telling us, it’s clearer when something is too much, or when we don’t want something, or we don’t want it like that (and when we do!). Often we think we ‘should’ be able to handle something, or we wish we wanted something that we’re actually feeling a no to in that moment - learning the story our body is telling us helps us to get more skillful in navigating these things.
We have more understanding and compassion for others. As we find more understanding and compassion for ourselves, that often starts to flow out to others.
Our emotional lives are richer. We feel more - this can be challenging, because we don’t just feel more joy, we’re also available to feel more pain - but we also have more capacity to flow with our emotional experience and allow them to move us and move through us, rather than getting stuck in any one emotion or being fearful of our feelings.
We’re more connected to our intuition. As we become more fluent in the subtleties of the experience of being in our bodies, we’re more aware of our gut feelings and inner knowings. The more we are able to tune in, the louder these voices get.
We find ourselves healing hurts we’ve been carrying for years, or that our families have been carrying for generations.
How do we start to learn to hear the stories our bodies tell?
You might like to try this very simple exercise:
Whenever you happen to think of it throughout the day (perhaps set an alarm for a few times a day to remind yourself until you get into the habit of tuning in), check in with yourself with the question “Right now, I’m feeling…” and try to be as specific as you can with your answers.
If you’re feeling sad - what is the quality of the sadness? Loneliness, melancholy, grief at the state of the world? If you’re feeling angry - what’s the quality of your anger? Frustration, irritation, blinding rage? If you’re feeling happy - are you content, joyful, satisfied, warm?
If you’re feeling tense, where is that tension, and what are its qualities? Maybe your solar plexus is contracted, or your jaw is really tight, or you feel rigid or constricted.
You don’t have to do anything about these things (although you can if you’d like to) - just notice them. And then take a moment to notice how it feels when you get the description of how you feel just right.
Notice what happens when you keep this practice up for a week or a month or more.
Somatic Experiencing is another beautiful way to start to read the stories your body is telling, and to learn the language it speaks. It helps you to understand the stresses and trauma it carries, and gently supports writing a new story that is more resilient and easeful.
If you’d like to find out more about Somatic Experiencing and how it might be supportive for you, get in touch! I’d love to hear from you - send me a message or book in a free 30 minute consultation here.