Love being yourself.

I read a thing on the internet the other day that invited a perspective shift. I'm still thinking about it, so here it is - I hope it resonates with you, too.

What if we turned the common advice that we should love ourselves inside out?

What if it wasn't 'do I love myself', and instead was 'do I love BEING myself'?

It's a change in perspective from outside in to inside out.

If I'm considering whether or not I love myself, I tend to look at my thoughts and actions and relationships and whatever other ways I judge myself as worthy of love from the outside, as if I were witnessing myself and measuring against some kind of 'good enough' standard.

If I'm considering whether or not I love being myself, I tend to feel it from the inside. How do I feel? Am I having fun? Is my life satisfying? Am I having experiences that inspire me, am I following my curiosity? Am I following what feels good?

Loving being yourself feels to me like an invitation into self expression. To find joy in wearing the extravagant hat, to paint your fingernails the colours that make you smile, to shout words from the rooftops because they please you.

It also feels more accessible, at least to me - 'you need to love yourself' feels abstract. How? Do I meditate on loving kindness, do I speak affirmations into a mirror hoping they'll start to feel true, do I try again and again to ignore all the marketing messages from the world telling me all the ways I'm not enough? All those things might work, eventually, but they feel like work, a means to a far off end.

Maybe 'do I love myself?' is the wrong question.

Love being yourself? That feels more intuitive. It might feel that way because I'm fairly clear on my values, so if I go do something that is in alignment with those, it's probably going to feel fulfilling and make me glad that I get to do the thing. Creativity, curiosity, beauty, whimsy, wonder… these are the things that will lead me towards experiences that feel good to me. And if I feel good, I'm probably going to like being the me who gets to feel fulfilled.

If it's hard to let yourself, that's okay. Sometimes you haven't thought much lately about the things that matter to you while you're buried under life's obligations. Sometimes you fall into the trap of all the things you 'should' finish before you can go out and play. That's not your fault. Maybe see if it's possible to question that a little, and take one small doable step.

If you like, write back and let me know if it's tricky - I'll write you a permission slip that says you're allowed. Or a suggestion for a next step.

So that's your mission for the week and forever - play with the idea of liking being yourself. What would you do differently? What will you do next?