I could be doing anything; so why am I doing this?

I could do anything; so why am I doing this?

It's a question I come back to every now and then - usually it hits me like a bolt from the blue when I'm doing something mundane or enduring my way through something I think I "should" be doing, when life has been feeling a bit samey for a while.

It's a reminder that this is my one wild and precious life… and there is so much to be in awe of, and yet I am not all that often in a state of awe. Why is that? I could be doing anything, so why am I doing this?

It's an encouragement to dream weirder, think bigger, dust off a bucket list and start to make it happen. Plan a trip, go for a walk on the beach in the middle of the day when I "should" be working, exercise my imagination so that I find some different choices I'd never realised I could choose.

But it's also an invitation to find more meaning in the small things. A new kind of presence with some of the things that have been happening on autopilot for a while.

I could be doing anything, why am I vacuuming my house? Because I love the feeling of a clean and ordered space, and it feels like a kindness to give myself that.

I could be doing anything, why am I sitting inside when it's so sunny out there? Because I've been struggling a bit lately, and sometimes the outside world feels like a lot. Staying inside and being quiet is sometimes one of the highest forms of self care.

I could be doing anything, why am I scrolling on Pinterest? Because I don't have the money to take six friends on an art making adventure in Morocco for a year, dreaming in the desert and absorbing beauty at every turn and living into a fairy tale, and so feeding my eyeballs with beauty and my heart with longing is a nice way to spend some down time.

So your mission for the week is to ask yourself the question: I could be doing anything, why am I doing this? And see what your answers bring. Satisfaction with where you're at? Some thing that might need to change? A longing that you hadn't been hearing?

If you feel like sharing, feel free to send me an email, I'd love to hear yours.